


Endangered

by SamanthaAuburn



Series: Switched AU [3]
Category: Game Grumps, Good Game (TV 2017)
Genre: Alternate Dimension, I'm back crazies!, M/M, Metafiction, Speculative fiction, Switched Sequel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-04-26 16:49:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14406333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamanthaAuburn/pseuds/SamanthaAuburn
Summary: This year’s Blood Match is just three weeks away and Alex and Ryland should be excited. But Ryland has suddenly come down with something that’s sapping all his energy, and Alex is worried. When he brings his worries to Ninja Brian during a brainstorm session, Brian brings him to Jesse, and Alex learns that he’s the creator of far more than just Killcore. He tells Alex that Ryland’s life is in danger - as is the world he and Alex live in. He asks Alex for an impossible favor - return to the Game Grumps universe and find out who’s trying to destroy the Good Game universe from the outside… before the saboteur destroys his home, and husband, for good.Meanwhile, Dan is asked to fill in the gap that Alex leaves behind in the Good Game universe and is tasked with finding out what he can on his end… while keeping Ryland safe and sane as his husband enters dangerous territory.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back, crazies! I'm horribly disappointed that Good Game was apparently canceled.... so I'm writing a sequel that reflects that. 
> 
> But crazy news... I finally had my baby boy. Born April 10th, his first name is John, for the Master Chief from Halo and his middle name is Daniel. . . for our very own Dan Avidan. <3 Who knew that you could love someone so completely who isn't even two weeks old? 
> 
> Enjoy the new story, guys! Two chapters to start us off. I probably won't be posting these quite as quickly as before with the baby, but I'll get them out as inspiration hits. <3

“You appear to me to be in perfect health, Mr. Tate,” the doctor said, going over test results. “I’m not sure I can provide a reason for your sudden lack of energy.” 

Alex shifted nervously on the stool in the small doctor’s office, glancing at Ryland slumping over on the exam table. His husband had started complaining about feeling extra tired about two weeks ago. They tried everything. Diet change, more exercise, more sleep. . . Nothing worked. Ryland just grew weaker and weaker.

It finally hit a peak yesterday when it took a monstrous amount of effort for Alex to wake Ryland up that morning. It was probably the scariest event in Alex’s life. And considering everything he had gone through the with his alcohol and weed withdrawals, his horrific confrontations with his father. . . and his physical switch with a man named Dan Avidan from different dimension. . . that was saying a lot. 

Ryland rubbed at his eyes with the heel of his palm. “We’ve tried everything. . .” he muttered. “Can’t you do anything?” 

“We’ve done all I can think of,” the doctor said. “Your lungs and heart are in pristine condition. Cancer, diabetes, mono, liver function. . . all of them came clear. You’ve even lost some weight since your last visit.” He smiled. “All I can suggest is keep doing the things you’re already doing. Exercise, healthy diet, plenty of sleep. . . Stay away from caffeine for now. If it continues to get worse, come on back and we’ll do more tests.”

“Ugh. . .” Ryland shook his head, his eyes fluttering. “Thanks, I guess.” 

The doctor frowned, then turned to Alex. “You’re his roommate?” 

“His husband,” Alex said, trying to keep his voice steady for Ryland. He fiddled with the sapphire encrusted wedding ring on his finger.

The doctor pulled out a card. “Here’s my number. Give us a call if he’s not gaining normal energy levels in the next week. If he starts getting worse, bring him back, okay?”

Alex took the card with a shaking hand. “Okay.” 

The doctor nodded, then left. 

“Lexi. . .” 

Alex stood and was at Ryland’s side in a moment. He pulled Ryland close to him, pressing his head into his chest and stroking his hair. “I’m here, Ry.” 

Ryland wrapped his arms around Alex’s waist, though Alex could feel the weakness in his grip. “I’m scared.” 

Alex tightened his grip on Ryland and kissed the top of his head. “We’ll get through it, buddy. I promise.” 

\-----

“Alex?” Ninja Brian waved a hand in front of Alex’s face. “You okay? You’re zoning out again.” 

Alex shook his head. He was in the TWRP recording studio doing some work with Ninja Brian. A few weeks ago, Ryland had suggested Alex bring up the idea of a Ninja Sex Party band of their own, just like Dan and Brian had in the Game Grumps universe, and Brian was all for the idea. They had been having regular meetings trying to put together songs and trope ideas. 

But Alex couldn’t concentrate. “Sorry, Brian.” 

Brian lowered his gaze, his gray-blue eyes so incredibly similar to the Brian Alex had met in the Game Grumps universe. He still had difficulties separating the pair of them at times. He frowned. Brian’s concerned look spread through his entire body. “What’s wrong? You look like you’ve got something on your mind.” 

Alex took a deep breath. “It’s. . . it’s Ryland.” 

Brian raised an eyebrow. “Domestic troubles?” 

“No, no, nothing like that,” Alex said. “It’s just. . . he’s. . . sick. Or something. His energy levels have been so incredibly low and we can’t figure out why. The doctor couldn’t find anything and we’ve tried everything we can at home. Nothing’s working.” He leaned his face into hands. “I’m so fucking scared, Brian. I don’t know what’s wrong.” 

Brian said nothing. 

Alex lowered his head. “. . .Sorry, I shouldn’t be bringing these personal things into work.” 

“How long has this been going on?” 

Alex looked up, frowning. “What?” 

“Ryland’s energy levels,” Brian said. “How long has this been going on?” 

“Um. . . about two weeks,” Alex said. 

Brian’s eyes widened. He shook his head and stood. “Come with me. We need to go see someone.” 

Alex tilted his head. “What are you talking about? Who are we going to see?” 

“Jesse,” Brian said. “We need to see Jesse. Now.”


	2. Chapter 2

Alex followed Brian up the steep steps to an unfamiliar mansion on the top of the steep hill. He nervously ran his hands together. 

Why the hell were they here? What did Jesse have to do with Ryland? He shouldn’t be here. He should be checking on his husband. He rubbed his arms. 

“What the heck does Ryland’s energy levels have to do with the maker of Killcore?” Alex asked. 

“Everything,” Brian responded. 

Alex eyed him. “Do you have to be so damn vague?” 

Brian sighed. “Alex, do you remember your first real encounter with me?” 

Alex shivered. “Yes. . . you were. . . you were trying to murder Dan and Arin.” 

“I was _pretending_ to be trying to murder Dan and Arin,” Brian corrected. “But whose names did I use?” 

Alex frowned. “Mine and Ryland’s.” 

“I knew who I was facing,” Brian said. “I knew it wasn’t you or Ryland. Hell, you two were on stage fighting Lucid Nightmare while I was chasing the two of them underground. I found Arin and Dan after Ash dragged you two on stage.” 

Alex’s eyes widened. “You knew who they were? How?”

“Jesse told me,” Brian said. “Because Jesse orchestrated it that way.” 

Alex stopped in his tracks. “Wait. What?” 

Brian turned to him. “Jesse is the reason you and Ryland switched places with Dan and Arin last year.” 

Alex blinked at Brian. “I am so confused.” 

“Jesse will explain it. Follow me.” Brian continued up the steps. 

It took a lot of effort for Alex to follow him. 

After talking with a door porter, Brian and Alex followed a butler deep inside the mansion until they got to the large garden in the back. Sitting by the pool was the man himself – Jesse Cox, the creator of Killcore. And, if Alex was picking up Brian’s cryptic messages correctly, something. . . more.

Jesse looked up from his laptop and raised an eyebrow when he met Alex’s eyes. “Ah. So it’s finally time then?” 

“Afraid so,” Brian said. 

“No wonder I’m having such a hard time keeping my anchor on this world,” Jesse said. He put the laptop aside. 

Alex frowned. “I am sick and tired of all this vagueness, especially since it apparently has something to do with Ryland not feeling well. What the fucking hell is going on here?”

“A serious problem,” Jesse said. 

Alex glared, but before he could protest further, Jesse did something weird. He stood up and just. . . blinked out of existence. 

Alex’s eyes widened and his mouth dropped open.

The effect only lasted a second before Jesse blinked back into view. A sad smile overcame his face at Alex’s dropped jaw. “Like I said. A serious problem.”

Alex took a step back. “What the hell is this?” 

“This,” Jesse said. “Is me losing my ability to stay in this world.”

“But. . .” Alex said. “What does that even mean?” 

Jesse pointed to the plush outdoor couch. “You might want to sit down.” Alex frowned, but did as he was told. Once Jesse and Brian settled near him, Jesse continued. “You know that this world, in a way, exists in the world where Dan and Arin came from.” 

“As a TV show, yeah. . .” Alex said, still confused.

“Michele and I created that world,” Jesse continued. “The characters, the plot, the game, everything.”

Alex lowered his gaze. “You mean for the TV show.” 

“I mean we _physically created it,”_ Jesse said. “Or at the very least we anchored it. Though I doubt Michele ever fully understood what that meant.”

Alex sat straight up, his stomach churning. “You. . . that means. . . wait. . .” He ran a hand through his hair, messing it up and pulling it around his head. “Does. . . does that mean you created me?” 

“No,” Jesse said. “It’s. . . difficult to explain. There are thousands of dimensions like yours, all existing at once, all with their own rules and stories and people in it. Most are ‘unclaimed’ meaning they simply exist as any normal world would. But certain individuals have the power to claim these dimensions when they create complex worlds. This makes them something bigger. We call it anchoring.”   
Alex laid a hand on his stomach, trying to keep his lunch down. “And you did that with our dimension.” 

Jesse nodded. “You and Ryland and the other people who live here, you’ve existed the same way as any dimension. But when Michele and I opted to create the Good Game world you became something. . . more.” He took a deep breath. “Doing this allowed me to manipulate events a little, which changed the fate of your lives. It allowed you to meet Ryland, for the Esports People to form up, for me to bring Arin and Dan here and send you and Ryland to their home in order to help you and your team better themselves. It also allowed me to figure out just how terrible Steamin’ was and remove him from the Killcore community.”

“So. . .” Alex said, still fidgeting. “Positive things.” 

“Most anchorers do this for positive reasons, yeah.” 

Alex crossed his hands into his lap, trying to keep from shaking. “So what does that mean for us now?” 

“Good Game,” Jesse said. “Was canceled in Dan and Arin’s world. Meaning it has lost one of the anchors that gave this world its extra power.” He blinked out of existence again, before coming back just as fast.

Alex shuddered. “Just one anchor.”

“One of three,” Jesse said. “I’m one of the others. Ryland. . . is the last one.” 

Alex lifted his head. “Ryland is an anchor?”

“Ryland is essentially the main character of Good Game,” Jesse said. “So he was one of the necessary anchors to get you all where I was able to get you.” 

A shock ran through Alex’s body. “Is that why he’s suddenly losing energy?” 

Jesse nodded. “Since we’ve lost one anchor, the world is drawing on energy from the other two anchors to keep itself from reverting to the way it was before I anchored it. It will keep doing that until it rebuilds the lost anchor. . . or drains the others.” 

The shock built in Alex’s spine and his vision blurred. “Ryland.” 

“If I don’t fix the other anchor,” Jesse said. “This world will drain my hold on it until I can’t return anymore. Then it will drain the third anchor. . . until he dies. And then this world will revert back to the way it was before I anchored it. Without Ryland.” 

Alex sat back against the couch, hard. He stared at the ground. 

“This isn’t real,” he muttered. “This is just some elaborate prank, right? This isn’t real at all. Ryland isn’t in any danger--”

“Alex,” Jesse said, resting a hand on Alex’s knee. “Calm down. I wouldn’t have had Brian bring you here if I didn’t think I could fix this. Listen to me, please.” 

But everything around Alex faded away. He pulled his knees up to his face and pressed his eyes shut. This was insane. Ludicrous. Ridiculous. Anchors? Multiple worlds? Energy draining? Nonsense. 

But then again, why would Jesse lie? Why would Brian? And he knew some of what they said was true. Obviously Dan and Arin were real. The world they had been dropped into had been real. And Ryland was seriously losing energy, just like Jesse predicted. 

Holy fuck. This was all real. It was _real._

This couldn’t be happening.

He was going to lose his husband. The love of his life. His friends, his family, his band, his esports team, his progress toward escaping the darkness in his past. . . he was going to lose it all. He fought tears, pressing his face into his palms. 

His husband. . . _Ryland. . ._

Brian spoke now. “Alex--”

“T-t-tell me what I can do,” Alex said, his voice shaking. He pulled his hands back, not bothering to hide tears. “P-p-please tell me I can save Ryland.” 

Jesse smiled, far too jovial for the situation, Alex thought. “I knew I could count on you.” He sat up straight. “YouTube canceled Good Game because they said there wasn’t enough mainstream interest in the show. But I don’t believe it. I think someone messed with the statistics. We need to figure out who did it. If we’re lucky, we can fix the stats and generate enough hype for the show to get it reinstated. Or at least get enough fans to rebuild the anchor.” 

Alex lowered his head. “And what happens if the show dies again? Will this happen again?” 

Jesse shook his head. “Eventually this world will be strong enough to stand alone. If we get that anchor back, that’ll be my top priority.”

Alex took a deep breath. “So what do I do?”

“I want to send you back to the Game Grumps universe,” Jesse said. “So you can figure out who sabotaged the statistics.”

Alex frowned. “Why me? I don’t have any experience doing that kind of thing.”

“No, but you have the motivation,” Jesse said. “If you’re willing to try.” 

Alex shut his eyes and leaned on his hands. Go back to the Game Grumps universe. . . it’s not like it would be hard. He knew people there. And Jesse was right, he had the motivation. But. . . “Would I be going alone?” 

“Ryland needs to stay here to keep the anchor going,” Jesse said. “You’d have to go alone.” 

Alex chewed his lip. “Who would take care of Ryland?” 

Jesse smiled slyly. “I have a plan for that, don’t worry.” 

Alex fiddled with his hands. “. . .And what happens if I can’t fix the anchor in Dan and Arin’s world? Will I be able to come home?”

Jesse frowned. “Honestly. . . I don’t know.”

God, what a terrifying thought.

Jesse continued. “But would you really want to return to a world without Ryland in it?” 

“. . .No.” Alex took a slow breath. That thought was even more terrifying. “I guess I don’t really see a choice then.” He closed his eyes a moment before meeting Jesse’s, determination filling him. “When do I leave?”

“Tomorrow,” Jesse said. “First thing tomorrow.” 

\-----

Alex entered the house that night, weary. 

Ryland was asleep on the couch with an open Gameboy resting against his chest, lightly snoring. Alex looked over his husband. He looked so innocent in sleep. So. . . carefree. It was what Alex had always wanted for him. He kneeled next to the couch and slipped his hand into Ryland’s. Ryland lightly gripped it in his sleep. 

Alex pressed a kiss to his husband’s hand. “I love you so damn much,” he muttered. “And I know you love me too. Which is why me leaving you to fix this problem is going to feel like a betrayal. But Jesse assures me you’ll be taken care of.” He pressed Ryland’s hand to his forehead. “You have to trust me. You have to believe I’m doing what’s best for you.” He shut his eyes tight. “You have to believe I’m coming back home.” 

Ryland stirred. He slowly opened his eyes and a small smile appeared on his face when he saw Alex. “Hey Lexi. When did you get home?” 

“Just a minute ago,” Alex said. He kept a death grip on Ryland’s hand.

Ryland frowned at him. He moved to sit up, but winced and laid back down instead. “Hey. Did something happen? You’re so tense.” 

“Just tired,” Alex said. He stared at Ryland for a moment before reaching down and pressing a kiss to Ryland’s lips.

Ryland was slow to respond due to fatigue, but eventually he gave in and caressed Alex’s lips, running a hand through his hair. Alex stroked Ryland’s beard, taking in every second, simultaneously putting every ounce of love he had into the motions and mentally recognizing Ryland’s horrible weakness. 

Alex needed this. He needed the reminder of just how bad off his husband was. He needed the motivation to go fix this. . . before he lost Ryland forever. 

After a moment Alex shifted and straddled Ryland on the couch.

Ryland gently pulled away from the kiss. “Not sure if I really have the energy for this, Lexi.” 

His words stabbed Alex’s heart, but he tried to act normal. “I’ll lead,” Alex said, turning kisses to Ryland’s jaw. “Just let me know if it becomes too much.”

“Mmm,” Ryland muttered, lifting his head back, letting Alex map his neck with kisses. “Okay.” 

Alex held back a sigh of relief and continued his kisses, slipping a hand under Ryland’s shirt, trying to convince himself that this would not be the last time they got to do this and he would be successful in fixing this anchor problem. 

He had to be successful. Ryland was counting on him.

He could only hope that Jesse’s solution for keeping Ryland safe while he was gone was going to be a good one.


	3. Chapter 3

Dan Avidan sat back on the couch in the recording room of the Grump’s office, waiting for Arin to show up and get this recording session started. 

He had to admit, his heart really wasn’t into it today.

They had just found out from Michele that, despite the overall success of the show, YouTube canceled further seasons of Good Game. 

Dan had to admit. . . he was torn about the idea. He absolutely loved filming the show. He loved his costars, the show’s concept, the awesome results they ended up with. . . but the pressure to film five days a week for as many hours as they did on top of their normal stuff for Game Grumps, Starbomb and Ninja Sex Party had really taken a toll on him and Arin. Both of them had had their fair share of breakdowns and freakouts as a result of the harsh schedule. And now that they had started their Ten Minute Power Hour segment, that would put even more strain on them.

At the same time, it felt like he was losing something big. Something very real. After all, he had met the real Alex and Ryland.

Dan rested his forehead on his hand. Good god. The real Alex and Ryland. Even after two difficult, surreal weeks living in their apartment. . . .living their fucking _lives_. . . that thought still blew him away. 

What were they up to right now? 

Dan’s stomach churned. In a way, that was hard to think about too. And Dan wasn’t sure why. 

Well. He knew at least one reason why, though it had nothing to do with Alex and Ryland. 

He shut his eyes tight. Despite being nearly a year since they had traded places with their Good Game counterparts, one event from that incident still stood out as if it had happened yesterday.

He still found himself waking up in the middle of the night several times a week, images of Ninja Brian shoving his thick arm under Arin’s chin, pressing a sharp knife into his side bombarding his skull. Sometimes he’d wake up in a cold sweat. Sometimes he’d wake up screaming for Brian to spare Arin. Sometimes his eyes were matted shut with dried tears. 

Sleeping had never been his favorite activity, since he had nightmares fairly often, but this whole thing took it to a new level. He wondered if they’d ever subside. 

God.

He had to tell himself it was all worth it. Arin was alive. He was just fine. Alex and Ryland were safe. Hell, they were in a relationship now. The way it should be, as he had told them before they parted ways. Shouldn’t he be happy about all that? 

Why couldn’t he convince his brain that everything was fine? 

He sighed. Because everything wasn’t fine. Or at least it didn’t feel fine. It felt. . . wrong. 

Goddamn it, why was all this creeping up now? He buried his face in his hands.

The door opened, but Dan didn’t move until he felt the couch give under the weight of another human being. Slowly, he pulled his hands down from his face and glanced over at the person next to him.

Arin sat there, unusually solemn. “Hey, dude. You okay?” 

Dan stared at him a moment before turning away. “No.” 

Arin placed a hand on Dan’s shoulder. “Does this have anything to do with that last hour?”

That last hour. The code phrase that Dan and Arin had accidentally created to describe the final events before they got home from their strange visit to the Good Game universe. Specifically referring to Brian’s attack on the two of them. 

Dan shuddered before covering Arin’s hand with his own. “No.” He shook his head. “Well. Not entirely.” 

“What then?” 

“Something just feels. . . wrong,” Dan said. “I don’t know what it is. But it’s gotten worse since Michele told us that Good Game was canceled.” 

Arin lowered his gaze. “I’m disappointed too, dude.”

Dan shrugged. “Feels stronger than just disappointment.” 

“This has something to do with Alex and Ryland, doesn’t it? The real Alex and Ryland.” 

“Maybe,” Dan said. He shook his head. “No, definitely. I just don’t know what.” He sighed. “Not that it really matters. I can’t do anything about it, even if I knew what was wrong. We got to their world totally by accident.” 

Arin shrugged. “Maybe.” 

Dan pulled his knees up to his face. “. . .I’m scared, Arin.” 

Arin frowned at him before drawing him into a sideways hug. He said nothing. 

Dan closed his eyes and just took in the moment. He had always been close with Arin, to the point where he often took it for granted. But ever since that last hour, he refused to take anything for granted. Every moment was precious now. He leaned into the hug. 

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed,” Arin said. Dan took a deep breath, but didn’t respond. Arin pressed his forehead against Dan’s hair and continued. “You cling to me like you’re never going to see me again.” 

“I almost lost you,” Dan said. 

“You didn’t,” Arin said. “Not really.” 

Dan squeezed his eyes shut tighter. “Arin. I will never lose that image of you against the wall with a knife at your side.” He turned and wrapped his arms around Arin. He wanted to say more, but nothing came out.

Arin sighed. “Maybe it’s a good thing that we can’t get back to Ryland and Alex’s world again.” 

“Maybe,” Dan said. “Maybe.” 

\-----

Brian sat at one of the desks outside the Grump room, frowning. 

He had been listening to Matt and Ryan edit several Grump episodes for the last hour or so. The pair were working without headphones for once, since it was rather late in the evening and most everyone had gone home. It gave Brian the unique experience of listening to them discuss Dan and Arin’s moods during editing. 

Not that he needed the editor’s filters to recognize just how off Dan was. He was quiet, hardly laughed, often lost his train of thought. . . he wasn’t himself. 

Well. To be fair, he hadn’t been himself for quite some time. Not since they had gotten home from the Good Game universe. Brian still blamed his counterpart for that. 

But tonight seemed. . . worse.

And his own interactions with Dan seemed to reinforce that. Dan only managed a tiny smile when Brian greeted him and couldn’t seem to focus enough to hold a conversation. He had left a few minutes ago before Brian could fully get anything out of him.

Now he was waiting for Arin. He had to know what was going on.

Arin emerged from the Grump room a moment later, frowning. He met Brian’s eyes. “You want to know about Dan.” 

Brian raised an eyebrow of inquiry. 

Arin sighed and took a seat next to Brian. “I think he’s still focused on that last hour, even after all this time. But he won’t admit it.” 

“He’s admitted quite a lot to me,” Brian said. “Says he still has nightmares about it.” 

“It’s more than that, though,” Arin said. “He says he’s worried about Alex and Ryland. Like something’s wrong with them.” 

Brian’s eyes widened. “Is something wrong with them?” 

“Fuck if I know, man,” Arin said. “How could I possibly know that? I can’t get to their world.” 

Brian narrowed his eyes. Arin couldn’t. . . but Jesse could. Should Brian talk to him about Dan’s worries? Should he open that can of worms again? 

Were Alex and Ryland worth it? He pressed his lips tight.

They were. He knew that. They were his friends. They were important. 

But could he really trust just a feeling? Should he really go to Jesse? 

Arin frowned. “You know something.” 

Brian shook his head. “I didn’t say that.” 

Arin lowered his gaze. “Brian. Does this have something to do with that note your counterpart gave you?” 

Brian shrugged. 

Arin glared. “If you’re keeping something important from us--” 

“I’m not,” Brian said. He took a deep breath. “It’s really not that important.” 

“I doubt that.” 

“Doesn’t matter anyway,” Brian said. “I can’t say anything.” He paused. “I don’t think I could do anything anyway.” 

Arin narrowed. “I hope you’re right. For Dan’s sake.” He left.

Brian stared at the floor. He hoped he was right too. 

\-----

Brian left the office late that night, fighting with himself about whether or not he should go to Jesse about the situation.

In the end he decided against it. What could he even do? Even if Jesse knew something, there was no guarantee that he’d let Brian do anything about it. Or that Brian even could do anything about it. Or even that there was anything wrong to begin with. For all he knew, Arin was right and Dan was still just dealing with the PTSD. 

He hoped that’s all it was. If something was going on with Alex and Ryland. . . He shook his head as he neared his car. He couldn’t think about that. That was a different time in his life. It was over.

Or so he thought. 

A dark shadow shifted in the lights by Brian’s car. Brian stopped in his tracks. The shadow melted out from behind the car into the light of an overhead lamp. 

A man that looked exactly like Brian, covered shoulders to toes in black. 

Brian held his hands up. “This. . . isn’t good, is it.” 

“Afraid not,” the assassin said, staring Brian in the eye. How he could do that without freaking out was anyone’s guess. “We have an emergency on our hands and we need help.” 

Brian frowned. “Alex and Ryland?”

“That’s just the tip of the iceberg,” the assassin said. “It’s far deeper than that.” 

“Fuck,” Brian said, holding a hand to his forehead. “Just when Dan was getting weird vibes. . .” He frowned. “What can I do?” 

“Nothing,” the assassin said. “But Dan can do something. We need you to bring him to Jesse’s house. Now.”


	4. Chapter 4

Dan lay on the couch in his living room, staring at the ceiling. He glanced at the clock. 2am. He should be in his own bed, sleeping. But he couldn’t get himself to do it.

Brian had told him that Alex slept on this couch while he had been there. Why Dan felt some need to lie there was anyone’s guess. Maybe he thought he was going to somehow get some insight about Alex and the weird vibes he was getting thinking about him. 

But he was kidding himself. He knew Arin was right. This had to just be the PTSD manifesting. 

Right?  
The doorbell rang.

Dan sat up on the couch, blinking for a moment. He double checked the clock. Still 2am. Who the hell would be at his door at 2am? Maybe he imagined it.

The doorbell rang again, twice and more frantic this time. Dan shook his head. Not his imagination. He got up, made his way to the door, and chanced a glance through the peep hole. 

It was Brian.

Dan opened the door. “Brian? What the hell?”

Before Brian answered, a different figure appeared, dressed in all black, save for a slit in his mask showing piercing blue eyes.

Dan took a step back, holding his hands up, his body shaking. “What the fuck is this?”

The assassin’s eyes suddenly softened and he pulled his mask off his face. “Dan--”

“Don’t,” Dan said, swallowing panic. He really did look identical to band mate and close friend. _God,_ he didn’t need that reminder or the association. He shut his eyes a moment before forcing himself to meet the assassin’s gaze. “Just. . . just leave, please.” 

The assassin took a step forward. “Dan, please--”

 _“Go,”_ Dan said. “I don’t need this shit, especially now. Please. . .”

Brian faced the assassin, frowning. “I told you.” 

“Brian, seriously, what the fuck is this?” Dan said. 

“There’s a huge problem, Dan,” Brian said. “With the Good Game universe. We need your help.” 

Dan frowned. So there was a problem. But it involved the assassin? How the hell could he face that? “If it involves him, you. . . you have to find someone else. I can’t. . . I can’t go through that again.” 

Brian lowered his gaze. “Dan, it has to be you.” 

“I can’t--”

“Dan, listen,” Brian said. “Alex and Ryland are in danger.” 

Dan paused. That was. . . a strong choice of words. “Danger?” 

The assassin nodded. “Ryland’s life is on the line. If we don’t do something, he could die and everything you worked toward fixing last year could be lost.” 

Dan raised his eyebrows, the shock in his spine as strong as if the assassin had told him Arin could die. Hell, just the image. . . Ryland dying. . . Alex mourning. He shook his head, rubbing his arms. “Are you serious?” 

Brian’s expression grew dim and solemn. “I promise I wouldn’t be here with this guy if this wasn’t important, Dan.” 

Dan stared at him, pressing his lips together. “. . .What can I do?” 

“Come with us,” the assassin said. 

\-----

A few minutes later Dan had taken a back seat in Brian’s car, next to the assassin, much to his annoyance. He narrowed his eyes at the strange clone of his friend. “So. . . let me get this straight. The whole episode with Arin and me in the Good Game universe was all Jesse’s doing in an attempt to expose Steamin’.” 

“More or less,” the assassin said. “Though he had other motives too.” 

“And he’s a. . . a dimension hopper or whatever. That essentially created the Good Game universe. . .” 

“Basically.”

Dan shook his head. “This is not real.” 

“I promise you it is,” Brian said. “You just have to trust me, even if you don’t trust the man next to you.” 

“Do you trust the man next to me?” Dan asked, breaking eye contact with the assassin. 

Brian glared at the man next to Dan in the rearview mirror. “I trust Jesse.”

Dan was silent for the rest of the trip.

They arrived at Jesse’s house and the assassin led them inside. Dan frowned. There was no way this was real. He couldn’t imagine any situation where Ryland would seriously be in that level of danger. Even the assassin thing hadn’t been real. . . no matter how real it felt to Dan. 

He shuddered. 

The assassin brought both of them to a room in the back of Jesse’s house. Dark, simple, with a strange black door on one wall. . .the room immediately set Dan on edge.

Jesse sat on a chair behind a simple desk. He smiled when everyone walked in. “Ah, you got him. Good.” 

Dan glared. “What the fuck is going on?” 

“. . .Hi, Dan.” 

Dan turned. Hidden in the darkness of the corner, stood a familiar figure, slumped forward, frowning. 

Dan stood tall, shock running through him. “Alex. . .?” 

Alex ambled out of the shadows, rubbing one arm nervously. “Thank you for coming.” 

“What’s going on?” Dan said, ignoring Jesse and turning to Alex. “Brian said you and Ryland are in danger. Are you okay?” 

Alex turned away, his eyes glistening. “No, honestly.” 

“Dan,” Jesse said. “Ryland is dying.” 

Alex winced, as if the words physically hurt him.

Dan’s skin buzzed with the news, and his stomach roiled like someone had kicked it. Was he already too late? He met Alex’s eyes, though Alex turned away. “Alex. . .” 

Alex had tears forming now. “Ryland. . . for the last few weeks, he’s been getting weaker and weaker. He can’t focus on Killcore. Hell, he can’t focus on anything. The doctors don’t know what’s going on.” He shut his eyes and let out a shuddering sigh. “I’m so fucking terrified.” He held his hand against his forehead.

Dan stared at Alex. Something on his hand caught his eye. 

A ring. Thick, silver, and with blue, sapphire music notes on it, resting on his ring finger on his left hand.

Alex noticed Dan staring. He took a deep breath and held his hand out so Dan could see the ring better. “. . .Ryland and I got married last month.” 

Dan’s eyes widened. “Seriously?” 

Alex could only nod. 

“Dan,” Jesse said, grabbing his attention. “This is serious.” 

Dan glared at Jesse. “Is this because Good Game was canceled?” 

Jesse raised an eyebrow. 

Dan lowered his gaze. “I’ve been feeling like. . . like something’s been wrong with Alex and Ryland ever since Michele told us.” 

Jesse smiled. “That makes my life a little easier. Yes, it is.” 

“So why do you need me?” 

“I need you to take Alex’s place while Alex does some investigation here,” Jesse said. “I think someone tampered with the view numbers for the show, and Alex is going to try and fix it.” 

Dan frowned, looking back at Alex. The man was so distraught. Could he really do that? “But why Alex? Why not me or someone inside YouTube?” 

“Because Alex has motivation,” Jesse said. He glanced sadly at Alex. “And I’m kind of hoping that having Alex here will hopefully help keep the anchor I have with his world a little longer. I can’t promise that though.” 

Dan looked at Alex. Alex looked cautiously hopeful, still wearing a frown, but his eyebrows perked up. 

Dan chewed his lip. Could he really turned Alex down? Could he really stand by and let Ryland fade away? He knew the answer. He couldn’t turn Alex down. No more than if he was fighting for Arin instead of Ryland. He turned to Jesse. “When do I have to leave? Do I have time to talk to Arin about this?”

“You’d have to leave tonight,” Jesse said. “And honestly. . . within the next twenty minutes.” 

Dan took a step back. “What?” 

“I can’t hold the portal to Alex’s home open much longer,” Jesse said. He pointed to the black door. Dan watched it a moment.

The door disappeared. Dan leapt back. “What?” 

But Jesse held a hand out to where the door had been, “pulled,” and the door flickered back into existence. “We’re running out of time. It’s now or never.” 

Dan frowned, a sinking feeling coming over him. He stared at the door, which now blinked in an out of view like a bad hologram. “I’m going to be stuck there, aren’t I.” 

Alex stared at the floor.

“Unless we can fix the anchor,” Jesse said. “That’s very likely, yeah.” 

That. . . changed things. The thought of being stuck there. . . that was one of the thoughts that haunted him the most while he and Arin were there. And this time he didn’t have some magic guitar that could bring him back. He also wouldn’t have Arin with him. He’d be alone. If Alex failed. . .

Something dawned on him and he turned to Alex. “Wait. If I’d be stuck there, you’d be stuck here too.” 

Alex nodded.

“Technically,” Jesse said. “He’s already stuck here.” 

Dan stared at him. “What?” 

“I don’t have the energy to send him back,” Jesse said. “Sending a core element of a world back to where it belongs takes much more effort than sending a foreign element. I can send you. . . and that’s it.” 

Dan’s face softened. “And this is all for Ryland.” 

Alex’s face morphed from cautious hope to a strong determination. “If I don’t do this, everything I have worked for and everything that I love will be lost. If I stayed home and didn’t come here, everything will go back to the way it was before Jesse used our world to create Good Game. I’d be back to being a failed musician, haunting bars, looking for one more person to con into letting me sleep on their couch so I don’t have to sleep on a park bench, desperately holding on to any excuse possible not to just end it all. I’d never sing again. I’d never start an esports team, or make the wonderful friends I did doing so. I’d. . . I’d never meet Ryland.” He wiped harshly at his eyes. “I’ll never know what it’s like to really be loved. Or to really love someone else. And Ryland. . .” his voice broke now and he couldn’t continue. 

Dan took a deep breath. “Alex. . . when Arin and I were in your world, cleaning out your apartment, we kept looking for. . . for possible. . . tools. . . that Ryland would have used to hurt himself. We kind of thought, with the long sleeves. . . we never found anything, but. . . Do you know. . . Did Ryland. . .?” 

Alex rubbed his upper arms. “He did, yeah,” he said, confirming Dan’s fears. “He showed me the scars right before we performed at the Game Grumps Live event. Said he stopped because he met me. . . Apparently I gave him a reason to keep going.” He shook his head, as if he still didn’t quite believe it. “He’s told me multiple times that he would have ended his life if I hadn’t come into it.” 

Dan pressed his lips together, but he honestly wasn’t surprised. “I’m glad he met you then.” 

“I am too. Because he gave me a reason to keep going as well.” Alex chanced a glance at Jesse, who turned away. “But if I don’t fix this. . . Ryland will die anyway.” He met Dan’s eyes, tears in his own, but a look of determination. “I can’t take the chance. I have to do everything I can to stop this, no matter the consequences I face for myself. I can’t let Ryland die. . . Do you understand that?” 

Thinking about everything he’d be willing to do to save Arin if he were in such danger, Dan nodded. 

“I left Ryland a note explaining what I did. . . but he needs someone to be there for him. I’m hoping you’ll be that person.” 

“Alex--”

“I know I’m asking a lot from you,” Alex said. “Because you’d be in the same boat I’ll be in if I fail. You won’t be able to get home. . . But--”

“You don’t have to try and justify it, Alex,” Dan said. “I’m not going to let you guys do this on your own. I’ll be there for him.” 

Alex looked like he might cry tears of joy. “Really? Are you sure?” 

“I’m sure,” Dan said, realizing he might not quite know what he was promising. “If Arin was in this same situation as Ryland, I’d do everything I could to save him too. You don’t have to do this alone. You just. . .” he paused. “You have to promise you’ll be there for Arin, too.”

Alex nodded. “Of course.” 

“Dan, you realize you may not be able to come back home,” Brian said. Dan had almost forgotten he was still in the room with them. 

He turned to Brian. “You brought me here. What did you expect me to do?” 

Brian’s expression grew deadly serious. He opened his mouth like he wanted to protest, but he quickly shut it. “Okay. . . okay, you’re right.” He shook his head. “But damn it, Dan. . .” 

“If Rachel was in Ryland’s place, what would you do, Brian?” 

“I know, I know,” Brian said. “I just. . .” He turned to Jesse. “There really is no way to guarantee Dan will come back.” 

Jesse shook his head. 

Brian turned to Alex. “What will happen to Alex if you can’t fix this and he can’t go home?”

Jesse shrugged. “I can’t predict that. He might remember everything. He might lose all his recent memories related to Good Game. He might. . . he might just disappear. I don’t know. I’ve never lost a world before.” 

Alex shook a little, but he didn’t move from his spot. 

Brian then turned to Dan. “. . .And what would happen to Dan?” 

Jesse frowned. “This isn’t a problem with Dan’s world. If we can’t fix things, he’ll likely stay where he is when the world resets, and he’ll probably keep his memories.” 

Dan stiffened, but still refused to back down. 

Brian furrowed his brow. “Dan, are you really sure?” 

Dan just nodded, not trusting his own voice. 

Brian stared a moment, then hugged Dan tightly. “Why do you have to be so damn selfless?” 

Dan hugged him back, the realization that this could be the last time he’d ever hug his own Brian hitting him hard. “I love you, Brian. Don’t forget that okay? And. . . and tell Arin I love him too.” 

Brian held Dan close. “I’m going to help Alex make sure you get to tell him that yourself again. I promise.” 

Dan broke the hug after a moment and turned to Alex. Alex stared at him with a deep frown.

“I will never be able to repay you for everything you keep doing for me,” Alex said. 

“If I was worried about that, I wouldn’t be doing this,” Dan said. “Just. . . take care of yourself. If things don’t work out, promise that you’ll let my friends be there for you. Don’t go down that old path again.” 

“I won’t.” Alex hesitated a moment before taking a step forward and drawing Dan into a hug. Dan froze for a second before hugging him back.

“We’ve got maybe ten minutes,” Jesse said. He placed a pad of paper and a pen on his desk. “If you want to leave a note for Arin, do it quick.” 

Dan broke the hug with Alex. He turned to the pad of paper, sighed, and started writing. When he finished, he passed it to Brian. “Get this to Arin.”

“Of course.” 

The assassin took a step forward. “I’ll make sure you get to Ryland’s home.” 

Dan turned toward the door. He took a deep breath, twisted the handle, and stepped through.

No turning back now.


	5. Chapter 5

Arin groggily entered the office at the crack of noon. Normally he’d be well rested and ready to tackle a new day at this hour, but after everything last night. . . 

He and Dan had spent far too much time recording episodes. Dan. . . obviously wasn’t himself, and it slowed their ability to produce proper content. When it finally hit 1AM, Arin declared themselves finished, even though they were still behind in content. Clearly Dan needed the time off.

But Arin couldn’t sleep that night. He couldn’t stop thinking about Dan. This was a bigger problem than he realized. 

As he slumped into the chair in his office to go over the day’s schedule, someone knocked on the door. “Come in.” 

Ross peeked into the office, a disturbing frown covering his features. “Uh. . . Arin. . . we um, have an issue here.” 

Arin stood up, suddenly alert. “What’s wrong?” 

“We have a visitor,” Ross said. “He’s waiting in the recording room.” 

Arin lowered his gaze. “Who is it?” 

Ross shook his head. “Just. . . just go to him.” He left. 

Arin didn’t waste a second. He dashed out of the room and ran for the recording room. 

A man with a familiar mess of curly brown hair waited on the couch with his back to Arin. NSP’s music video of Heart Boner played on the TV. Arin sighed relief. He wasn’t sure what had Ross so on edge, but if it was just Dan. . .

The figure turned and faced Arin with a deep frown.

Arin froze. That wasn’t Dan. _“Alex?”_

Alex winced at Arin’s exclamation and turned away from him. 

Arin rounded the couch and faced Alex. “You are Alex, aren’t you?” 

Alex lifted his head. “. . .Yeah.” 

“What on earth are you doing here?” He paused. “Wait, where’s Dan?” 

Alex looked off. “. . .He’s not here.” 

Panic started to settle in. “Alex--”

“I’m sorry,” Alex said, lowering his head. Tears welled up in his eyes. “I’m _so sorry, Arin.”_

Arin frowned. He leaned down in front of the couch and met Alex’s eyes. 

Alex looked away. “I’m a _horrible, selfish bastard.”_

“Alex,” Arin said slowly. He put a hand on Alex’s knee. “Take this slow. Just tell me. What happened?” 

“Ryland is _dying,”_ Alex moaned.

A shock ran through Arin’s spine. “What?” 

“He’s _dying,_ Arin,” Alex said, his voice shaking. “He’s dying because Good Game got canceled and Jesse sent me here to fix it, so I asked Dan to go be with Ryland, but now he’s stuck there and I’m stuck here unless I can fix it and it was so _fucking selfish_ of me to ask Dan to do anything after everything he’s already done for me and now it’s too fucking late but I had to do something or I’m gonna lose _everything,_ including Ryland and I need him so much and. . . and. . .” He fell into sobs, wrapping his arms around his body, shuddering.

Arin blinked, trying to process it all. Jesse sent him here? Jesse Cox? Because Good Game was canceled? And Dan--

Oh fuck. Alex’s words hit hard. Dan was with Ryland.

“Alex, look at me.” Alex lifted his head. Arin locked eyes with him. “Where is Dan?” 

“He’s. . . with Ryland,” Alex said. “At. . .at home. In our. . . dimension, or whatever.” 

“And he’s stuck.” 

Alex looked away. “I’m sorry. . .” 

Arin sat hard on the floor. Dan was stuck. God, he had so many questions. How did Alex get him back? How did he go there in the first place? Was it even his decision? What did Jesse have to do with all this shit? How could Alex do this. . .?

But. . . If Ryland was seriously dying. . .

“What’s going on with Ryland?” 

Alex chewed his lip. “It’s complicated.” 

“I’m here to listen,” Arin said. _Because damn it, I need to know what happened to Dan._

Alex frowned, but then launched into an explanation about how the Good Game dimension had been “anchored,” what that meant, and why it was suddenly deteriorating. “Jesse says that if we don’t get a third anchor back up, the world will eat up the remaining anchors for energy. Jesse will lose access to my world and Ryland will just. . . dry up.” He stared at the ceiling, obviously fighting tears. “He’ll die. God, he’s dying now. He has no energy. No life. . .” 

Good god, what had Jesse pulled them into? Why did he even do this? What else did he not know about his friend? “And you told Dan this.” 

Alex nodded. “Jesse suggested it.” 

“And Dan. . . went to be with Ryland because of that.” 

Once again, Alex nodded. “I had to come here alone, Arin,” Alex said. “But I couldn’t leave Ryland there by himself. And I know he has the team, but he needed something more, and Jesse thinks that having an element from this world there might slow down this anchor deterioration and--”

“Alex, it’s okay,” Arin said, holding his hands up. “You don’t need to try and explain it away. I’m sure Dan chose to go once you explained what happened, didn’t he.” 

Alex looked away.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less,” Arin said. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Best not to focus on what might happen if we can’t fix this. Let’s just focus on fixing it instead. What do we need to do?” 

Alex opened his mouth, but before he spoke, the door opened. Brian stood on the other side of it. He frowned when he saw the two of them and leaned against the door frame. “I see you’re up to speed then, Arin.” 

Arin narrowed his eyes. “You said you didn’t know anything.” 

“I didn’t, until my assassin counterpart showed up in the parking lot after I talked with you,” Brian said. He held out a folded piece of paper. “Dan asked me to give this to you.”

Arin took the paper gingerly and opened it up.

_  
Arin,  
I’m sure Brian and Alex have already explained what I did, so I won’t waste time talking about it. _

_I’m sorry. I had to do something. I couldn’t sit back with Alex as upset as he was, with Ryland dying, and not do anything. I doubt I can do much. ~~Brian~~ The assassin didn’t seem too sure about our chances of fixing this, despite Jesse’s confidence. I suspect Jesse just held it together for Alex._

_Jesse tells me that if things go pear shaped, I can’t come home. Sorry about that too._

_He also said that he’s not sure what will happen to Alex. He might remember everything. He might lose his memories from before his world was anchored. He might just. . . disappear._

_I’m really hoping that last one doesn’t happen._

_Please. . . take care of him. He’s stuck there as much as I’m stuck here. He’s doing this because he loves Ryland. Apparently they even got married last month._

_But. . . don’t let him go down the old paths that we were trying to close off for him. Don’t let him hurt himself._

_I’m. . . not sure how you’ll do it, but if I don’t get home, would you find a way to let my parents know? Or. . . or maybe Alex would like to know what it’s like to have a real family. I’m not sure how well he’d be able to pull it off, but. . ._

_I’m going to do everything I can on my end to get home. But if I don’t, please know that I love you. My time with you has been the best years of my life and I’ll never forget all you mean to me. You’re a beautiful person and the kindest man I know and don’t you dare let anyone tell you different. Take care of yourself._

_With love,_

_Dan  
_

Arin read the paper three times, fighting back the pressure building in his eyes. He carefully folded the paper and stuck it in his pocket. It was far too precious now that Dan wasn’t there. He looked up at Alex, trying to focus on something positive before everything exploded as it now threatened to do. 

“You and Ryland got married?” 

Alex managed a small smile. He pulled a thick band off his finger and passed it to Arin. “We were going to honeymoon in Jamaica after this year’s Blood Match.” He let out a shaking sigh.

Arin breathed deeply, forcing himself to stay calm. He took the ring and looked it over. Masterfully crafted, it was a gorgeous shining silver with music notes made of sapphires. A lot of love went into this. And money must have too, which meant they were finally out of the hell hole they had been in for so long.

“Ryland’s is titanium with lyrics from a song I wrote for him engraved in the underside,” Alex said. “I didn’t get to sing the song at our wedding, but it went on TWRP’s latest album.” 

Arin focused on that. Ryland making a living playing video games. Alex writing and performing music again. The love they shared. The two of them, happy. It’s what he and Dan had worked for. This was what he needed to focus on instead of the fact that Dan was gone. That he might not see him again. 

This wasn’t about him and Dan, he told himself. This was about Alex and Ryland.

“I’m going to make sure you see him again, Alex,” Arin said, passing the ring back to him. “You have my word.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Outlined the rest of this... added a new tag.... sorry guys.

Dan stood on the sidewalk outside Alex and Ryland’s new house. Brian – the assassin – had dropped him off a few minutes ago, promising to come check on him when he could. Large, single story, with a white fence and a well-kept garden out front, it was the definition of the American Dream house. It must have had at least five bedrooms. Which, if this was really the house Alex had had Lorenzo by for the team, that wasn’t surprising. Two calico cats stared at him from the front window. Alex’s beat up old car still stood in the driveway, next to an equally old and beat up car, but aside from that, it was a picture-perfect image of modern domesticity.

That Alex and Ryland could afford something like this, on their own from what the assassin had told him, said a lot about how far they had come in a year. 

He patted a key in his pocket. Alex’s key to the house. He could just walk up, use the key, and. . . he shook his head. He entered the yard, slogged up to the front door, and knocked instead. 

The door flew open almost immediately, and a haggard Ryland stood on the other side. Hair falling out of his ponytail, eyes red, wearing his signature dark, long sleeved shirt and a weathered pair of pants, he looked near panic and at the same time, ready to fall over with fatigue. 

For a split second, relief washed over his face and he took one step forward. But then he stopped, glancing over Dan. Dan’s five-o’clock shadow, ripped jeans, Def Leppard shirt, and raggedy old shoes were nothing like Alex’s normal wardrobe. He also had his hair in a ponytail, a last-minute decision in an attempt to differentiate himself from Alex. The only thing the pair really shared was the silver seashell necklace Dan was currently wearing. 

Ryland blinked at him, meeting his eyes. Then he turned aside, pressing a hand to his forehead. 

Sure enough, Ryland’s titanium wedding band was vibrantly visible on his left hand.

“He’s gone,” Ryland said, his voice breaking. “Isn’t he.” 

Dan wasn’t sure what to do. In any other situation, he’d hug a friend that needed comforting. But considering the unique position he was in, a hug from someone who looked identical to his husband was probably the last thing Ryland needed. 

“You have to understand why, Ryland.” 

Ryland waved a paper around before dropping it. He turned into the house, leaving the front door open. “I got it. He’s gotta. . . save the world or something.” 

“He’s got to save _you.”_

Ryland glanced at him a moment, a heavy frown on his face. He looked ready to say something, but his eyelids drooped and he swayed instead, about ready to fall over. 

Dan rushed to his side and held him up as he started to fall.

Ryland pushed at him, trying to get away, but it was so weak that Dan hardly felt it. Dan’s heart broke. He really was just as weak as Alex said. Without another word, he helped Ryland to his chair in front of his computer. 

“Why did Alex send you here?” Ryland asked.

Dan took what he believed was Kamal’s seat. “He didn’t want you to be alone.” 

“I have the team.” 

“Are you really going to rely on the team, Ryland?” 

Ryland glared at him. “Am I really going to rely on _you?”_

Dan pressed his lips together. That was a fair point. He hadn’t really thought about that. Hell, he doubted Alex did either. 

Ryland shook his head. “I suppose you can stay here while you’re stuck here,” he said. “There’s. . . a spare bedroom you can have. You’ll have to wear Alex’s clothes, I guess. When the team gets here. . .” His voice faded. He turned away from Dan, leaned on the table, and buried his face in his hands. His body shook. 

“. . .He’s really gone, isn’t he?” His voice trembled. “He’s left me. . .”

“Ryland,” Dan said, leaning toward him. “Alex put himself out there, in danger, for you. He didn’t leave you. He’s trying to save you. He loves you. I’m sure he’s just as upset as you are. Hell. . . I know he is. He could hardly keep himself together while he practically begged me to come be here with you while he tried to fix this. . . tried to save you.”

 _“Well, maybe I don’t want that,”_ Ryland snapped. “Alex said that I’m in danger, but that’s when I need him the most. I need him here. Can’t you go fix whatever problem he’s after? Can’t you send him home?” 

“Ryland. . .” Dan said, chewing his bottom lip. “I’m stuck here until Alex can fix this. And he’s stuck there.” 

Ryland stared at him, wide eyed. 

“He really didn’t tell you anything, did he.” 

“I. . . why would he do that?” 

“Jesse thinks having a. . . a core element or whatever from this world over in my world will help keep the existing. . . anchors healthy.” God, that sounded so weird when he said it. “At least for a little while longer. Someone had to go, and it had to be someone motivated to try and fix things. And it had to be soon. I only had twenty minutes to make my decision to come help.” 

“But I don’t understand,” Ryland said. “Why the fuck would he do this? What’s so bad about these anchors failing?” 

A dark cloud fell over Dan. Apparently Alex really hadn’t told Ryland anything. “The anchors are the reason you met Alex in the first place.” 

Ryland raised both eyebrows. “What?” 

Dan explained to the best of his ability everything he knew about what anchors were and why it was a problem if they failed. “You are one of those anchors, Ryland. And since one of the anchors has failed, it’s trying to draw energy from the other anchors. One of those anchors is Jesse, and losing him means he’ll lose his ability to connect to this world. He’s probably already lost it, actually. That’s why Alex can’t get back.” 

“And. . . I’m the other anchor.” 

Dan wrung his hands together. “. . .Yeah. And. . . apparently if your anchor breaks. . .” He shook his head. “There’s no delicate way to say this, Ryland. . . but. . . you’ll die.”

Ryland stared wide eyed.

“It’s. . . it’s why you’re so short on energy as it is,” Dan continued. “It’s why Alex is in my world. To save your life.” 

Ryland sat back in his chair, stunned. After a moment, he stood and headed for the back of the house. 

Dan followed.

Ryland entered the master bedroom. A queen-sized bed, unmade, sat against one wall. Two dressers lined another, both covered in unfolded clothes. There was a desk in one corner and two giant bean bags on the floor in lieu of a couch. Posters were plastered everywhere – Killcore, a handful of bands, including Starbomb and TWRP, and at least two unicorn posters.

The wall near the bed had pictures of the team thumbtacked everywhere. One picture looked like an image from when Alex and Ryland had shared a kiss on stage during the last Blood Match. 

Ryland faced him. “Could you just. . . leave me alone for a moment.” 

Panic ran up Dan’s spine. “Ryland--”

Ryland held up a hand. “I’ll be fine. I just. . . I need some time to process this. Please.”

“You don’t have to do this by yourself, Ryland.” 

“Maybe I want to,” Ryland said. “At least for now.” He pointed down the hall. “The spare bedroom is next door.” 

Dan stared at him a moment. “Don’t suffer alone.” 

Ryland’s face. . . changed. Like something in his mind clicked. He stared at Dan a moment, then shook his head. “Just. . . just a minute. Please, Dan.” A strong emphasis on the name “Dan.” 

Dan took a deep breath. He obviously wasn’t getting anywhere. “Fine. Just a minute. Come get me if you need me.” 

Ryland’s expression relaxed, though only a little. He entered the room and shut the door. 

It took Dan way too long to move away from the door. This was a mistake, leaving Ryland alone. But he slowly slumped over to the spare bedroom.

Sparse and quiet, the spare bedroom had two twin size beds, an old dresser, and not much else. Dan picked the bed closest to the wall that the room shared with Ryland’s room and sat on it, leaning on the wall.

He knew he had to be here. He knew coming at Alex’s request and being here for Ryland was necessary. But it wouldn’t work if Ryland just pushed him away. And honestly, how could Dan blame him for that? Despite what had happened last year, they weren’t that close. And Dan looked so much like Alex. That had to be painful.

Though seeing Ryland as sick as he was, hurting, was almost as bad for Dan. Arin didn’t show pain like that often himself, but when he did, it burned and Dan wanted to do everything he could to stop that pain. He knew Ryland wasn’t Arin, but that desire didn’t change. 

But he knew Arin. He knew his friend’s boundaries and needs and how to comfort him. He didn’t know that about Ryland. He didn’t know how to fix things. 

He sighed, closing his eyes. 

The sounds of Ryland sobbing in the room next to him floated through the walls. Dan furrowed his brow.

That would not do. 

He stood up and headed for Ryland’s bedroom. The door was unlocked when he twisted the knob. Perhaps that was on purpose. 

Ryland sat on the bed, his head against the wall, tears poking out from his closed eyes. He made no acknowledgement of Dan entering.

Dan crossed the room and sat on the bed. Only then did Ryland open his eyes. He stared at Dan, a confusing mix of anger, pain, and sorrow covering his features.

“Don’t.” 

Dan narrowed his eyes. “I am not leaving you here to suffer alone.” 

Ryland blinked at him, but he didn’t respond. He sighed and leaned his head back against the wall again instead. 

Cautiously, Dan reached over and drew Ryland into a sideways hug. Ryland closed his eyes and shook with silent sobs. He reached up and grabbed Dan’s hand. His left hand, specifically. He ran little circles over Dan’s ring finger. 

No wedding band. Dan definitely wasn’t Alex.

“I know I’m not Alex,” Dan said quietly. “But I promise I’m going to get you through this the best way I know how.” 

Ryland said nothing, but he didn’t pull away. Progress, Dan thought. He’d get them both through this. No matter what.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely did not intend for this to come out when it did, but this chapter does make some commentary on the toxic side of the NSP/Game Grumps fandom, specifically the side that shares their weird sexual or romantic fantasies/fan fiction/desires with Dan. This obviously makes him SUPER UNCOMFORTABLE you guys. DON’T DO THIS. I know Dan said a while back that he’s okay with shipping fan fiction, but the more people start asking him if they can put him in their weird tentacle porn fiction, the more he’s uncomfortable about it. Think about how you’d feel about that before you shove it in his face, okay? Treat him with love and kindness, especially if you want to claim you love him. He is not property. He is not an object to share you creepy sexual desires with. He’s a human being. 
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy the chapter, guys.

Arin took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves.

Alex still sat on the Grump couch, not saying much. Brian sat next to him, a comforting hand on his shoulder. Arin bit his bottom lip. Despite what he knew about Alex from Good Game, and despite what he had learned about him while in his world, the simple fact of the matter was he just wasn’t that close with him. Brian was far closer, since he had been such a solid rock for him while he and Ryland had been stuck in his world.

That was something that needed fixing.

“So,” Arin said. “Where do we start?”

Alex stared at him a moment, then shrugged. “I don’t know. Jesse didn’t really say.”

Before Arin could say anything further, the door opened and Ross poked his head in. “Everything okay?”

Arin frowned at him. “No. But we’re going to make it okay.”

“If you say so, boss,” Ross said. “Just a reminder, that first aid and CPR class is today and we’re one short for required attendance.”

Arin scrunched his face up. “No one else will go?”

“No one else _can_ go,” Ross said. “You might have to do it yourself.”

“Taking one for the team is definitely not what I had in mind today.”

“Either that, or the office insurance goes through the roof.”

“Don’t remind me,” Arin said. He ran a hand down his face. “What time is that again?”

“In thirty minutes.”

“Great,” Arin said. “I guess I’ll go. Put my name down.”

Ross flashed a quick salute, then shut the door.

Brian raised an eyebrow. “CPR classes?”

Arin nodded. “A shame you’re no longer doing our social media stuff or I’d probably ask you to do it. Apparently someone in the building had a heart attack and died. The family sued, claiming that he died because no one in his office knew first aid, and now the building owners are requiring at least 80% of all employees in every office to take annual CPR classes or pay outrageous insurance premiums. It’s a pain.”

Alex shifted. “So I guess we have to put this off.”

“Maybe,” Arin said. He stared at the TV, Heart Boner now paused in the middle of the kiss.

“That’s… weird to see,” Alex said. “It’s been a long time since I’ve kissed a girl. Not for years.”

Arin stared at him. “Really?”

Alex nodded.

“Why?”

Alex shrugged. “Honestly… I was in love with Ryland.” He fiddled with the edge of his shirt. “I mean, it’s not like I never slept with a lady during that time, but they never lasted. I couldn’t focus on a girlfriend when all I could think about was my love for Ryland. I just never got the nerve to really tell him. Unless I was drunk.”

Brian frowned at him.

Alex gave him a small smile. “I’ve been completely clean since we got back,” he said. “It’s been hard, but definitely worth it.” He glanced at Arin. “Is that Dan’s girlfriend?”

Arin took a deep breath. “No. Dan would never bring a girlfriend into his music videos.”

Alex raised an eyebrow. “Why not?”

“Because the fans would probably freak out,” Brian said. “Hell, enough of them freaked out based on this scene.”

“Seriously?”

“Dan… has an interesting relationship with the fans,” Arin said. “When I first brought him on, he was actually replacing a different YouTuber, JonTron. Do you know him?”

Alex shook his head.

Arin shrugged. “Either way, when he was first brought on, the fans hated him. They just… rebelled. It wasn’t a pretty scene. But since then he’s kind of become the favorite of the two of us. Some fans put him on a pedestal, except for the few fans who still complain about Jon leaving. They also often treat him like property. Because he’s Danny Sexbang, he’s a sex symbol. He’s also one of the few of us who isn’t married, and he doesn’t talk about his romantic life on the show, so people get like… these fantasies in the heads that go too far. They forget that he’s a real person sometimes.”

Brian rolled his eyes. “They also forget that Danny Sexbang is a character, kissing another character, who is a nameless girl just like every other girl Danny gets with in NSP canon, and that by next week, he’ll have moved on to some other girl, orgy, or failed attempt at getting a chick in bed. One kiss doesn’t mean a long-term relationship, especially for his character. Hell, he’s written songs talking about Danny bailing on relationships that got too serious for his tastes.”

Alex blinked at him.

Brian waved a hand. “Sorry. It’s been bothering me for a while now. Honestly, the grand majority of our fans are awesome people, but you get that loud handful and it’s hard to ignore them.”

Alex leaned on his knees. “I wonder if Esports People will end up with fans like that.”

“I hope for your sake you don’t,” Arin said. He sat back in the chair. “How’s everyone doing anyway?”

“Good honestly,” Alex said, a small smile gracing his face. “We’re closer than we ever have been. Got a ton of awesome sponsors now too, and we’re among the top competitors.”

“That’s how the team is doing,” Arin said. “How’s everyone doing individually?”

“Ash quit drinking,” Alex said. “She’s helping me do a lot of the behind the scenes gaming stuff, since I’m not super familiar with it yet, and she’s using her knowledge of marketing and gaming journalism to really keep us in the public eye. I think it’s helping her find a good purpose. And I guess her mom has stopped harassing her about the work she does for a living now. Kamal’s. . . growing up, I suppose. That’s the best way to describe it. Hell, he stood up for me at a recent event where I passed out from being overheated. I never expected him to do that. He got his GED recently too, so no more high school. I think he liked the excuse to leave it and without the pressure to make himself look ‘cool’ in front of his peers, he’s less of an ass. Lorenzo is getting much better at Killcore, and he’s just started dating a guy that I think is really good for him. He’s still managing properties, but he’s kind of phasing that out a bit? He’s hiring other managers now. With all our sponsors, Killcore is going to become his primary source of income soon. Sam is teaching tennis on the side. Ryland reminded her about how much she loved the sport and she decided that if she can’t go to the Olympics herself, she can help someone else get there.” His smile widened. “They’ve grown a lot. I’m proud of them.”

“And… Ryland?”

Alex’s smiled drooped a little. “He’s changed a lot. He’s… he’s finally in the right mindset. The way I always wanted him to be. He smiles more. He laughs more. I won’t say his depression is completely gone, but it’s much more manageable. He’s just… he’s happy. Making money doing something he loves. Rebuilding relationships with people. He’s almost a different person as a result. There was quite an adjustment period early on in our relationship since he had never been with a guy before, but we got through it just fine and now it’s like there was never any issues. And I love him more every day.” He leaned his head down, his smile faded completely. “It’s why this is so damn hard.”

“We’ll get you through it, Alex,” Brian said, squeezing his shoulder. Alex managed a little smile.

Arin stared at the TV. He hoped they’d get through it.

Brian frowned deeply. “That reminds me. Danny Don’t You Know is supposed to drop later today.”

“Shit,” Arin said. “You’re right.”

“Arin,” Alex said. “The reason you know me is because you play Ryland in a TV show, right?”

Arin nodded.

“I don’t know anything about that show,” Alex said. “I should watch it. That’ll give me something to do while you’re taking that CPR class.”

Arin paused. “You know, that’s not a bad idea. Let’s do that.” He cued up the first episode.

Brian stood. “I’m going to get that music video set up.” He turned to Alex. “Let me know if you need anything, okay?”

Alex gave him a weak smile. “Thanks, Brian. That means a lot.”

Arin frowned, but said nothing. He sat next to Alex on the couch.

Alex pulled his knees up to his face. “This is gonna be hard.”

Arin gripped his shoulder. “If you need to take a break or have someone with you when you watch it, don’t hesitate to ask. I’ll skip that CPR class if I need to. You’re more important.” 

Alex shrugged, but wouldn’t face him. “…If I really need someone with me, I’ll ask Brian. Go do your class. I’ll be fine.”

Arin frowned. “You know I’m here if you need me.”

“I know,” Alex said. “I’m okay.” He kept his gaze on the TV.

Arin watched him a moment, then stood up and left Alex watching Good Game.

Alex had asked Dan to go be with Ryland while he was here so Ryland would have someone to rely on. In that same vein, Alex should be allowed to rely on Arin. But if he was going to be distant, that would be an issue. Something they needed to overcome.

Hopefully Dan wouldn’t have this issue to overcome. But Arin doubted it.

They had a long road ahead of them.


	8. Chapter 8

“Are you gonna tell them?”

Dan sat in Ryland’s bedroom – Ryland and Alex’s bedroom – on one of the giant bean bags he had on the floor. Ryland was resting on the bed. He had cried for a good five minutes before he finally asked Dan to let him go. Knowing that he was the only anchor keeping this world alive in its current state made him more anxious to rest and reserve his strength, and he admitted that crying probably wasn’t the best thing in his state.

The rest of the Esports People team was due at the house any minute for practice. Their first practice since Dan had changed places with Alex.

Would they notice? Besides the obvious fact that Dan wouldn’t be… intimate in any way with Ryland… would they notice besides? Did they know the difference between the two of them?

And if they didn’t… would Ryland point it out?

Ryland frowned at him. “Tell them what? About you and Alex?”

Dan’s look darkened. “I meant more about… you.”

Ryland lowered his gaze. “Do you think they’d even care?”

“Are you fucking kidding me, Ryland?” Dan said. “Of course they would. They’re your team. Your family. They love you.”

Ryland wrung his hands together. “I guess this’ll be the ultimate test of that, won’t it?”

“Ry–”

“Don’t call me that,” Ryland said. “Please. Just… don’t call me that.”

Dan pressed his lips together. “Sorry.”

The doorbell rang. Ryland stared toward the living room, an eyebrow raised. “That’s not them. Lorenzo has a key.” He moved to stand.

And he listed to one side, struggling.

Dan was at his side immediately, holding him up. Once again, Ryland tried pushing him away. “Don’t touch me–”

“Alex asked me to be here for you because you need someone at your side,” Dan said. “You need someone to help you. I’m that person. I’m going to honor Alex’s request. I’m not going to let you fall.”

Ryland glanced at him with something like pain in his eyes.

“I know this is hard,” Dan said. “Believe me, I fucking know it. Arin and I may not be married, but I’m closer to him than almost any other person on this planet. And holding you, knowing you’re not Arin, and that I might never see Arin again, is just as painful as what you’re going through right now. But I made a fucking promise. To a friend. And I’m going to keep it.”

Ryland watched him a moment, then let out a heavy sigh. “Okay. Fine. I get it.” He leaned on Dan for support. “If Alex trusted you… I’ll trust you.”

“Thank you,” Dan said. They headed out of the bedroom and toward the front door. Dan opened it.

A tall, angry-looking gray haired man stood on the other side.

Dan blinked. “Can I help you?”

But before the man responded, Ryland pulled free of his grip, spread a protective arm in front of Dan, and glared at the man, forcing himself upright despite his fatigue. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

The man glared. “I’m here to talk to Alex.”

“How many ways do I have to tell you you’ve _lost that right?”_ Ryland snarled with a fury that Dan had never seen in him or Arin. “He is _not_ your son. You are _not_ his father. Not anymore. He has a new family now.” He gripped Dan’s arm.

Dan’s eyes widened. Oh hell. This was Alex’s father.

The father who disowned him.

Thankfully he looked nothing like Dan’s own father.

“I’m not here as his father,” the man said. “I’m here on behalf of his mother.”

Ryland froze a moment, then glared. “You fucking _liar.”_

“I’m not lying,” the man said, his voice softening. He turned to Dan. Dan stiffened. “Alex. She wants that necklace back.” He nodded to Dan.

Dan raised both eyebrows. He reached for the seashell necklace around his neck. “My necklace?”

“Yes, she–”

“Oh, fuck no,” Ryland said. “You are not getting his necklace. His mom did not–”

_“Stay out of this.”_

Ryland growled. _“You little–”_

“I’ve got this, Ryland,” Dan said, stepping forward. He glared at Alex’s dad. He took a deep breath and mentally reached for his acting lessons, his time playing Alex, and his rage at the father who chose to disown his son.

Ryland stared at him in disbelief.

“Mom really asked for this back, did she?” Dan asked.

The man nodded. “It’s very valuable and–”

“So really, _you_ asked for it back,” Dan said. “Because you want to strip me of anything of value that you might have given me in the past.”

Ryland raised an eyebrow.

The man snarled. “I didn’t–”

“You want it?” Dan tugged at the necklace, pulling it free. “You can have it.”

The man reached for it.

Dan pulled it back. “But only on the condition that you leave me and my family alone. You leave here and you never come back.”

 _“I’m_ your family–”

 _“Ryland_ is my family,” Dan said. “My _husband,_ in case you forgot.” Ryland let out a quiet, pained sound, but Dan stood firm. “You’re just a faceless collector.” He hardened his glare. “Do we have a deal?”

The man stared at the necklace, almost hungrily. “Fine.”

“Then here.” He dropped the necklace in the man’s hand. “I’ve paid my dues. Get the fuck out and don’t come back.” He didn’t wait for the man to speak again before shutting the door.

Ryland stared at him. “I… wow.”

Dan pressed his lips together. “Sorry. Not sure if that’s how Alex would have handled that, but hell if I’m going to let his repulsive father spread toxicity over the life he has now.”

“Don’t be,” Ryland said. “I’ve been trying to keep that disgusting man out of our lives pretty much since I met him. Alex… was more inclined to hold on.”

Dan frowned. “I always had the impression that he was afraid to lose people.”

“Yeah, well,” Ryland said. “He’s not the only one.” He took a deep breath. “Sorry about your necklace. I’ll replace it if you want.”

Dan shrugged. “It has its own memories attached to it, but I can keep them in other ways. Alex’s dad might be surprised to find out that there’s no real value behind it, other than sentimental.”

“Serves him right.”

Dan rubbed his arm. “It’s… weird seeing Alex’s dad. He looks nothing like mine. And… and he certainly doesn’t act like mine.”

“Yours didn’t disown you then.”

“No,” Dan said. “My family has always been really supportive and loving.”

“Wish I could say the same about Alex’s family.”

“You can,” Dan said. “Because you’re his family, Ryland.”

Ryland stared at him a moment, then managed a smile. The first one Dan had seen on him since he came here. “Thanks.”


	9. Chapter 9

Arin wandered into the office weary, his mind muddied with all the facts from the first aid class. How did you do CPR again? Check the victim, check the pulse, three to six pumps for every breath… he shook his head. How the hell could he be expected to remember all that? He already had to think about schedules and paychecks and recording and business and touring and… and Alex.

God.

Oh well. At least the insurance premiums wouldn’t shoot up.

He headed toward the Grump room. He had been gone a good four hours. By now Alex should have finished all of the Good Game episodes.

That had to be surreal. Especially with that last episode since it was so different than what actually happened. It was something Arin had technically experienced twice, and Alex not at all.

Also, Alex and Ryland in the show never got together. Except in the shipping fan fiction. Which Arin learned to generally avoid like he did most fan fiction.

He stopped at the entrance to the Grump room, reaching for the handle.

He paused. Someone was crying.

Alex.

Arin laid a hand on the door a moment and just listened. He let it sink in. God, he sounded so broken. And Arin didn’t know if he could fix it.

He listened a moment longer than went to get something from the fridge for them both.

—–

Alex curled up on the couch, his face buried in his knees, a blanket around his shoulders. He still had the first episode of Good Game up on the screen. Paused. He had stared at the image for hours, just letting the tears fall.

Him and Ryland on the couch, his arm around Ryland’s shoulders, right after he had proposed the idea of trying to get to Blood Match. The two of them, comfortable next to each other. And yeah, they hadn’t been in the best state at the time. Ryland was still horribly depressed, Alex was still drinking and likely high as a kite, and their money situation was laughable.

And Alex still hadn’t told Ryland, truthfully, how much he loved him.

But… they were safe at least. About to embark on something great. Bring new friends into their lives. Do something with themselves. There was no way Alex could have predicted everything that was going to happen, but damn it, they were going to do something.

And now what. Now he was stuck in some other world. Again. Trying to save Ryland. His husband. And he had no idea how to do it.

What the fuck was he doing here? Why did he come here? What good would it even do?

Why did he leave Ryland?

The door opened. Alex didn’t bother looking at who it was.

A can of La Croix appeared at his left. He stared at it before taking it. Arin walked around the couch and sat next to him.

Alex wouldn’t look at him.

“Drink that,” Arin said. “You’re dehydrated.”

“I’m not thirsty.”

“You have to take care of yourself, Alex,” Arin said. “You’re not doing anyone any good otherwise.”

“I’m not doing anyone any good anyway,” Alex said bitterly.

Arin frowned. “Alex.”

“Why the fuck did I come here, Arin?” Alex said. “What the hell can I actually do? I should… I should have stayed with Ryland. I…” He leaned forward, shaking.

Arin sighed. He put his La Croix down and drew Alex into a hug. “You’re here saving your husband. We don’t know how yet, but we’ll make it work.”

Alex stared at the screen. “I wish we were back there. Back before all this happened.”

Arin eyed him. “Back before you told Ryland you loved him?”

Alex sighed. “…Okay, maybe not. But still.”

The door opened again and Alex turned. Brian walked in, frowning. “Hey Arin. Danny Don’t You Know is up. Had a bitching time with the queue today.” He looked at the screen. “Having issues with the episode, Alex?”

Alex turned away. “You could say that.”

Brian rounded the couch. “You were supposed to come find me.”

“Didn’t want to bother you.”

Brian sighed. “We can’t help you if you don’t let us, Alex.”

Alex wouldn’t meet him in the eye. He had to get out of this mess. “What’s Danny Don’t You Know?”

He could almost feel Brian’s frown next to him, though his friend didn’t push anymore. “A new NSP song,” he said. “I could show you.”

Alex shrugged. Anything to get away from this Good Game thing. “Sure.”

Brian took the mouse from Alex and with a few clicks, got the music video up.

Alex sat back, instantly mesmerized. “Is that Finn Wolfhard? From Stranger Things?”

Brian raised an eyebrow. “Yeah.”

Alex couldn’t turn away after that.

There was something oddly comforting seeing Dan on the screen in the Sexbang costume, despite the surreal feeling surrounding it. Somewhere Dan was with Ryland. Ryland wasn’t alone. And Dan would care for him the same way Alex would. He had promised that.

He tried focusing on the lyrics.

_“Hey little Danny, don’t you cry,  
I am you from much later in your life  
I know your hair is wild  
I know you have no style,  
You’re still a virgin and you will be for a while!”_

Typical Ninja Sex Party humor. Random lines about his hair, his style, his virginity, and bananas of all things. Alex didn’t connect as much to that first verse. He had been a fairly popular kid growing up, even though he discovered later that his popularity was mostly due to his parents’ money. At the time, he thought everyone loved him, and he was mature enough to dismiss it when he realized that wasn’t the case.

It was his adult life that screwed everything up.

Girls didn’t steer clear… but they just used him. His clothes always fit, but his dad insisted on suits in high school and college and Alex always felt so stiff and not himself.

But he really froze when Ryland showed up on screen. He shook his head. Arin. Not Ryland.

_“…And now all your friend is here.”_

His one friend. His best friend. The first person who didn’t use him for money or sex. The first person who didn’t abandon him the moment his usefulness died.

_“Close your eyes and you will see  
A window into your destiny…”_

Alex closed his eyes.

Everything flashed by at once.

Meeting Ryland at the club. Moving in with him. The weeks and months and years that built their friendship and love for one another. Then, coming to him about Killcore. Meeting Kamal, Sam, Lorenzo, and Ash. The months of practice, not just with Killcore, but with friendship. Learning to share Ryland, learning to let others in his heart, learning to truly trust again.

Then, Arin and Dan. Coming to a strange world they didn’t know, seeing what their lives could be like if they really succeeded at their dreams. Making new friends, trying new things. Escaping the alcohol and weed of his past. Escaping the incessant need to please his father. Recognizing his own worth and talent.

And finally having a place to open up to Ryland. Finally gaining the courage to tell him how much he loved him.

The bittersweet episode that led to finally letting go of his father, and permanently embracing his relationship with Ryland.

All your friend is here. That one, beautiful, perfect friend. Without Ryland, none of this would have happened. He made life worth living.

And if Alex lost him…

He couldn’t. He had too much more to look forward to with him. He needed him.

The bridge ended and Danny leapt into the chorus again, screaming in front of a crowd, bathed in purple light.

_“Danny don’t you know that  
We’re all rad as fuck on the inside!”_

Something rose up in Alex that he didn’t quite understand, but he shut his eyes and let it take over.

And he sang the last line of that chorus in perfect harmony with Dan.

_“Now it’s time to rock the show,  
Come on, you are a star tonight!”_

Alex kept his eyes closed as the rest of the song played out and finally opened them when the last note echoed into the distance.

Both Arin and Brian stared at him.

Alex frowned. “What?”

“Have you ever heard that song before?” Brian asked.

Alex blinked. “No. How could I?”

“How’d you know that line of the chorus then?” Arin asked.

“I…” Alex stared at the screen. How did he? “I don’t know. I just felt it somewhere inside me.”

Brian and Arin exchanged glances.

The video’s end card faded away in favor of suggested videos, Good Game being one of them. Alex took a deep breath and turn to his friends.

“…Would you guys watch the show with me?” he asked sheepishly. “I don’t think I can get through it alone.”

Arin stared at him a moment before gripping his shoulder firmly. “Sure. You don’t have to do this alone.”

Alex managed a smile. “Thanks.” He turned to the screen, ready to face whatever pain might come in the next few hours. He had help this time.


	10. Chapter 10

Ryland sat at his computer, trying to force himself to focus on a game of Killcore. It wasn’t easy.

Dan was on the couch in the living room, looking over Alex’s laptop. While he and Ryland agreed to give each other some space, Dan refused to leave Ryland alone, at least until the rest of the team got there for practice. They were due to arrive any minute.

Ryland let his character die, his focus on the game waning. Should he tell the team what was going on? No doubt they’d recognize that Dan wasn’t Alex. All of them had had more time with Dan during the switch, And it was pretty obvious anyway.

How would they react? Would they even care? Ryland cared for them all and though it had taken a tremendous effort, he could finally admit that they were friends… family even. He loved all of them.

But how much did they really care about him? This would be the ultimate test, he supposed.

Not a fun test. Especially since he’d probably be disappointed in the results. They were great people but…

“Alex is doing well with TWRP, huh?” Dan said suddenly.

Ryland didn’t face him. “Yeah. He loves it.”

“I’m glad,” Dan said. “They’ve been so good to Brian and me.”

“He’s starting a Ninja Sex Party band with Brian too,” Ryland said. “Using some of his old comedy songs.”

Dan smirked. “Good. As it should be.”

Ryland frowned. “…Actually, I think he’s supposed to record with TWRP tonight. Damn it all.”

Dan turned to him. “I could call in sick for him.”

“They’ve been planning this for months,” Ryland said. “I don’t think it’s that simple.”

Dan lowered his gaze. “…I could sing for him too. I probably know whatever song they’re working on.” He sunk into the couch. “Though that would mean leaving you here alone.”

Ryland bit his lip. He opened his mouth to speak when the front door opened. Ryland cursed under his breath. Dan shifted like he was going to get up, but Ryland waved him back down. He needed to face the team alone. He forced down fatigue and stood.

Lorenzo walked in with a big grin on his face, holding a big sheet cake in his arms. Ash and Sam followed with balloons and what looked like ice cream. Kamal followed with his arms crossed, rolling his eyes at his teammates.

Ryland raised an eyebrow. “What’s all this?”

“It’s our anniversary!” Lorenzo said with a grin. “It’s been two years since our first tournament with Anaheim Cares, when we all first became a team! I couldn’t help but celebrate.”

Ash sighed long-sufferingly but she smirked at Ryland. “I tried to convince him not to.”

“It is a bit overkill, Lorenzo,” Sam added.

“As long as I get cake,” Kamal said.

Ryland frowned. Damn it all. This had to happen today. “Guys–”

“Hey, where’s Alex?” Ash asked. “I texted him about it. I thought he’d get decorations and confetti.”

Dan stood up slowly and walked next to Ryland. “…Hey everyone.”

The whole team stared wide eyed. Sam brought a hand to her face. “Dan. . .?”

Dan rubbed his arm. “…Yeah.”

Ash turned to Ryland. “Ryland, what’s going on? Where’s Alex?”

Ryland took a deep breath. He didn’t want this. He didn’t want to know his true value to the group. He didn’t want to see their selfish responses to the news he had to share with them. Damn it, why did this all have to happen? Why couldn’t he go back to his bubble where everything was perfect and wonderful?

Ash took a step forward. “Ry–”

“Alex isn’t here,” Ryland said, his voice breaking. “He’s… he’s with Arin in Arin’s dimension.”

Sam frowned now. “But why?”

Ryland turned to Dan, helpless.

Dan stepped forward now. “It’s complicated.”

“We’ve got time,” Ash said, urgency in her voice. “Tell us.”

Dan took a deep breath and explained all he knew about Jesse and dimensions and the anchored world. “The Good Game TV show was one of the anchors and Jesse thinks that because the show got canceled, the anchor died and now the world is desperately trying to hold on by stealing energy from the other two anchors. Alex is trying to reestablish the anchor by… I don’t know. Getting the show reinstated? Getting fans interested again? I’m not entirely certain how it’s supposed to work, but if he can fix it, the other anchors will be fine again. If not, the other two anchors will fail and… and this world will essentially go back to the way it was before it was anchored.”

Ash frowned. “So what, that means no Killcore? No Blood Match?”

Dan nodded. “And no Esports People. None of you will remember each other. At least that’s what Jesse thinks.”

“But what are the other two anchors?” Lorenzo asked.

“Who, you mean,” Ryland said. He leaned a hand against the back of his chair, a wave of weariness washing over him. “Jesse was one anchor… and I’m the other.”

Everyone stared at him. Ash frowned deeply. “What? But… what happens if your anchor fails?”

Ryland closed his eyes a moment. Here it comes. He stared at the floor, unable to bring himself to see their reactions. “If my anchor fails… I’ll die.”

Something big and loud crashed to the floor, making Ryland jump and look up. Lorenzo had dropped the cake, jostling the lid loose, spilling frosting all over the hardwood floor.

Everyone stared. Lorenzo’s eyes glistened, Sam covered her face, her eyes wet, Kamal’s jaw dropped, and Ash stood so shocked, she seemed unable to move. 

Ryland frowned, not sure what to do with their reactions. But before he could respond, Ash took three quick steps forward and wrapped her arms around him. She didn’t say anything, but she held him tight, as if letting him go would cause him to disappear.

“This can’t be happening,” Lorenzo said. “I can’t… after all we’ve been through… we can’t lose each other.” He stared at Ryland. “We can’t lose you.”

“You guys…” Kamal’s voice actually cracked. “You guys are… my best friends. My only friends. You’re…” He rubbed harshly at his eyes. “You’re the only people who really care. I don’t…” He stared at the floor, a deep frown on his face, opening and closing his mouth without letting any words escape.

“Alex can fix this,” Sam said, almost manic, her voice also breaking. She stared at Dan. “Right, Dan? Alex will fix this. W-we’re all gonna be just. . . just fine. We’ll be fine, right? We’re not going to lose each other.” She turned to Ryland. “We’re not going to lose you, Ryland. Alex will fix this and we’ll all be fine.” She turned back to Dan. “Tell Ryland that we’ll be all fine, Dan.”

Dan frowned and shrugged. “Sure.”

“We’ll be fine,” Sam said. She put down her bags then reached down for the fallen cake, her hands shaking. “We’re fine. We’re _fine.”_

This… was not the reaction Ryland expected. Indifference? Yes. Worry about Alex? Probably. Not… not this.

Ash tightened her grip on Ryland. She squeaked like she was trying to speak, but nothing came out.

Slowly he wrapped his arms around Ash, letting their worry hit him. Letting his own worry hit him.

Holy hell.

Alex was gone. Ryland could die. And he actually had people who cared enough to worry for him. To… to cry for him. He knew they cared but… This much?

God. _God._

Ash finally spoke, her broken voice barely a whisper. “You are not alone, Ryland.”

That did it. Ryland tightened his grip on Ash, buried his face in her shoulder, and sobbed.


End file.
